Recently I had the privilege of reconnecting with a friend whom I first met in grade school. She’s had quite a journey since we were last in touch, and now coaches high-level executives, CEOs, and other prominent figures in business, healthcare, politics, and the arts.
As we caught up on our lives and what each other has been doing, I had the chance to interview her a bit more about her work, and I was deeply impacted by both what she said, and what I felt as she said it.
Here are 3 of the lessons I learned from her that can assist us all in advancing our business and our lives as we interact with others:
Get the “ask”
1) Life is short — so go for it. Get the “ask”. Whether it’s inviting someone to share a project or vision, to coach you or be coached by you, to partner with you, or simply to try something, my friend said she’s learned that “if I don’t ask, nothing is going to happen. I might as well swing for the fences; at worst I may eventually have to pick up the bat.”
Be intentional
2) I noticed that she is very intentional. In her case, prayerfully so. She prays before contacting someone, and when she notices someone who’s work or contribution she appreciates, she’s very intentional about reaching out to them, letting them know how much she appreciates their work, and then taking that additional step to say “I would love to coach you.”
Sound a bit forward?
What was intriguing was her genuine appreciation for people and her genuine confidence that she could add value.
And rather than worrying what they’d think, or being caught up in conflicting feelings about wanting something from someone or trying to get someone to do something, she was completely focused on her appreciation for them and her desire — and competence — to serve and contribute value to them and their work.
How could this be applied even if you’re not a coach?
Perhaps you have something that could teach people how to do something better, or a product you market that could improve their lives.
Yet you, like most of us at one point or another, may still feel a little awkward because if they chose your program or your solution, you would be receiving something in return.
What if you could become so comfortable, so confident, and so appreciative like my friend that you had no problem letting people know you had something that could serve them, and that you would love to connect them, open a possibility for them, or serve them with what you had to offer?
Now before you say, “I’m just not like that” — my friend wasn’t that way initially, either.
She learned.
She grew.
She cultivated her mindset and her skills, and I’m glad she shared
them so openly with me the other day.
My clients can tell I love them
3) Here’s the final point — it builds on the other two. My friend said, “My clients can tell I love them.”
She has a genuine desire to see these high-profile people — people that many of us might feel intimidated by — have the support they need to function and serve at their best, and her genuine love for people comes across, especially since it’s not “muddled” by her worrying about what they might think.
So there you have it.
Three powerful insights I both learned and felt in talking with my friend about her work.
Chew on these a bit, and ask yourself, how can you apply them to your own life and work with people?
Can people feel your confidence, your appreciation for them, and your genuine desire to serve them?
Let me know any questions or insights this triggers in you — I’d love to hear your comments and feedback below!
Here’s to creating a life you love!
Ben
